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I met this girl the other day and she

took me back to her house where things got hot and heavy very quickly.

I bent her over the kitchen table and started going at it when suddenly we heard the front door open.

“Oh shit , it’s my boyfriend ! ” she exclaimed “Quick, use the backdoor” .

Now it’s at about this time I probably should have left..... ......but you just don’t get an offer like that every day.

submitted by Bushwacker61 to Jokes
[link] [340 comments]

Could a modern day human survive and thrive in Earth 65 million years ago?

For the sake of argument assume that you travelled back 65 million years.
Now, could a modern day human survive in Earth's environment that existed 65 million years ago? Would the air be breathable? How about temperature? Water drinkable? How about food? Plants/meat edible? I presume diseases would be an non issue since most of us have evolved our immune system based off past infections. However, how about parasites?

Obligatory: "Wanted: Somebody to go back in time with me. This is not a joke. P.O. Box 91 Ocean View, WA 99393. You'll get paid after we get back. Must bring your own weapons. Safety not guaranteed. I have only done this once before"

Edit: Thank you for the Gold.

submitted by phrresehelp to askscience
[link] [1655 comments]

TIFU on a Job Interview that went well until the final goodbye....

Actually, I was the interviewer. Although the main interview and hiring is done by someone else, they are sent to me for 10-15 minutes at the end since I'm the person they will directly be interfacing with. I always get a print out of their resume beforehand which I glance at during the interview..

Well today I had an interview and it went fine. At the end we got up and I told the woman that it was nice to meet her and we'd let her know. But, since the resume has absolutely no future use to me, I was absentmindedly ripping it up and throwing it in the trash in front of her as I said this. The look of horror on her face was tangible. It was only about 15 seconds after she walked out the door that I realized what I had done and how soul-crushing it must have felt!

So to poor interview woman I say now: "Sorry! You were actually a decent candidate!"

submitted by merlin401 to tifu
[link] [390 comments]

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