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TIFU by accepting a Fed-Ex package in a towel

Do I get bonus points? This happened less than an hour ago and I'm still laughing.

I had been expecting a delivery all day, but I had to get ready for work. "I'll grab a fast shower, what can go wrong?" Ha. Hahaha. I was shaving my legs when I heard the doorbell ring repeatedly, and my 120-lb German Shepherd going ballistic. I knew this was a delivery I would have to sign for, so I leapt out of the shower, fumbled for my glasses, and threw on a towel. I didn't notice that I was still dripping soap at this point. (This is important later on).

I THOUGHT I locked my dog in my room as I ran to the door, but I guess the door didn't shut all the way (also important). So I opened the front door, hiding behind it to maintain some decency as I scribble and drip on the pad the poor driver offered me. Then I hear it- the dreaded sound of paws racing across hard wood. My moron dog slips in a puddle of soap, looses his footing, and crashes into the door, sending me, towel, and scribble pad flying. I landed on my ass, naked as the day I was born and sopping wet, sitting on the very same scribble pad. The poor driver got a very X-rated look at my tattooed hide as I scrambled for my missing towel (somehow it landed halfway across the room), one hand across my tits and the other trying to cover my half-shaved lady garden. I stammered an apology as he grabbed his scribble pad and practically RUNS to his truck, so red his ears might be smoking.

My furry asshole of a dog is now watching me type this and I swear the bastard is laughing at me. Fuck my life.

Edit: holy shit! This is rapidly turning into one of my highest posts, and one of you crazy bastards popped my reddit gold cherry! Awesome :D now WTF do I do with it?

Edit edit: yup, this is now my top post AND made the front page. I love you screwballs.

submitted by redqueenswrath to tifu
[link] [577 comments]

I'm Jonathan Goldsmith, and I play the "The Most Interesting Man in the World." I don't always post to reddit, but when I do, it's for a good cause. AMA.

I'm here with Victoria from reddit for my second AMA. Last time was a lot of fun and we raised a good amount of money for landmine and bomb removal in Vietnam. I'm asking for your help again, reddit, but this time to help clear landmines and bombs in Cambodia.

Money for landmine removal is dropping in Cambodia, but the threat remains. We need your help.

Go to www.prizeo.com/jonathan to see a video we made at a military testing facility and while there enter to win a day with me taking falconry lessons as well as an off-road driving class at the Land Rover Experience Driving school in Manchester, VT.

Sure, you could win an unforgettable day, but more importantly you will raise money to save lives and limbs.

Mines Advisory Group is doing great work.

Proof: http://i.imgur.com/ln28eag.jpg

Ok, reddit, ask me anything.

Update: It's very flattering to me that anybody wants to communicate, or cares about my position on things. And I guess the only thing I would like to share is that we can all make a difference. We have to look outside of ourselves, come from a place of service, and we can all ameliorate the human condition. Each in his own way. And giving is far more valuable than receiving. To be able to make a difference in somebody less fortunate's life is the greatest gift of all.

So I do want to thank reddit, and all of the people who have been kind enough to care about what I have to say, and who have been fans, I really appreciate it. Keep drinking responsibly, and stay thirsty for all things.

www.prizeo.com/jonathan

And I hope you will take seriously the fact that each of us can make a difference. And each of us are instrumental to change and hope and encouragement. And yes, each one of us can change the world just a little bit. And collectively we can make a helluva difference.

submitted by Iam_jgoldsmith_ama to IAmA
[link] [514 comments]


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