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TIFU by piercing someones asshole.

Alright a bit of background. Ive been a piercer at my local tattoo parlor for several years, and I have seen people do the simplest things like eyebrow piercings, cartilage piercings, etc. Ive also seen people do the most bizarre things like dick/clit/ball piercings, and even anus piercings. Ive only done 2 anus piercings in the 6 years i've worked there. This guy comes in, and says he wants his asshole pierced. I wanted to laugh, but I put my professional face on, and told him prices, and answered his questions.

We get to the piercing room, and I tell him to pull down his pants and get on all 4s up on the table. Awkward already... Now Im trying to get him to position his ass cheeks just right so I can get to his asshole. I finally get him to spread his ass cheeks apart, and I get my needle. I can tell the guy is getting really nervous so I said "Dont tense up man just relax its only gonna take a second. Just relax your anus don't tense up or it will only be worse."

I have my face right up to this guys anus and am about to pierce him, and I say "Ok here we go". 2 seconds after I get the needle in he blasts shit all over my face. I start screaming like a motherfucker trying to wipe shit off my face, and he starts trying to stand up but the needle is still in his ass, and he screams bloody fucking murder. My boss runs in to find me wiping shit off my face, and this poor fuck screaming and crying with his pants down.

After I got cleaned up, and we got the needle out his ass I said "WHY DID YOU SHIT ON ME??!" He just stood there obviously embarassed, and he says "You said to relax my anus! Im so sorry!"

I will never pierce an anus ever again...

Edit:Holy shit this really did blow up. thanks for front page r/tifu!

submitted by Throwawaypiercing1 to tifu
[link] [321 comments]

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