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TIL there were 6 assassins sent to kill Archduke Franz Ferdinand and 1 of them threw a bomb that exploded under the wrong car. His assassination failed, he took a cyanide pill and jumped into the river. The pill only induced vomiting and the river was only 13cm deep. He failed at killing himself too
| submitted by dearylordyme to todayilearned |
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| submitted by Tsukamori to aww |
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Banned from the zoo.
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So I had a surgery Monday afternoon. Bunions are genetic in my family, and for some reason, mine are particularly bad for a 23 year old. I elected to get the surgery now, while under my mother's insurance and to prevent it from getting worse. Also, this way my mom can take a few days off work to stay with me if I need anything.
Long story short, they had to break 2 of my bones, then realign them, add some screws and pins, file down the side of my foot, then put the bones back into the sockets. I have 12 stitches and am on heavy narcotic drugs for pain.
Well, I have a super high sex drive. I flicked the bean before surgery Monday, but it's been 4 days. So I was horny and put on some porn. So I'm going at it and getting really into it. A few attempts at finishing pass because of mild pain in my foot. I decide to play through the pain.
So I'm finally about to come, and I get ready, straighten my legs. And I curl my toes as I climax, as I always do.
I curl my fucking toes.
There's a loud CRACK then my earsplitting scream of pure fucking agony. Then I have about three seconds to think Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck, what did I do before my mom comes barreling through my door.
There I am, covered in sweat, vibrator in hand, porn still on my TV, and my mom staring at me in shock. She stammered "Are you... uh, oh. Um. Are you o-okay? Uh..." She keeps glancing from me to the TV. I'm yelling at her that I'm fine, just go, I'm fine, GO. But she's in shock I think because she's still just glancing wide eyed from (half naked) me, to my TV, back to me, then my foot.
So I throw something at her to wake her out of her confused daze to make her go. The only thing I had within reach. My vibrator.
I threw my vibrator at my mother.
She backed out of my room slowly. We haven't spoken since.
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